I sell TF2 and TF2 accessories

silverhawk:

silverhawk:

vanilla coke is gay water

(via lesbianseinfeld)

octoberreads:

battywitch:

babekieren:

sociallyanxiousdragon:

thomrainierskies:

mugsandpugs1:

hermionegranger:

autisticcole:

debrides:

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

One time my brother answered the phone with the start of our prayer over dinner “Thank You, Lord, for this food”
..thankfully it was just our dad on the other end

One time after a mock trial competition where I’m a lawyer, a waiter asked me if I wanted more bread and I replied “yes your honor”

After working two weeks of doubles when we were short staffed, I answered my personal phone with “Thank you for calling [workplace], this is [my name]. How can I help you?”…it was a telemarketer…they spluttered and then just hung up.

Once when I was working nights at Taco Bell I fell asleep in the couch and my moms phone beeped and I grabbed it in my sleep and said “welcome to the border can I take your order” and my mom woke me up laughing.

(via maldita-abejita)

annieedison:

aquarian-sunchild:

Henceforth I will be referring to Guillermo del Toro’s latest film as ‘Grinding Nemo’.

#no the fuck you’re not

(via confessionforanothertime)